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I wandered to Dave's house, when were all about seventeen, to find he, Sketch and Weed had a plan to get a case of beer. They called a packie which delivered, and asked for a delivery to Dave's dad (who wasn't home, but his driver's license was). The plan was, when the delivery came, Weed would be in the bathroom with the door partly open and the shower running, pretending to be Dave's dad. Dave would answer the door and do the lying, while Sketch and I would hide in a bedroom and listen as the plot unfolded.

The doorbell rang and we all went to our battle stations. Dave answered the door and yelled in to the bath, "Hey Dad!" There's a guy with beer for you here! "The money's on the counter!", says Weed. Sketch and I hear Dave say, "OK!", and for some reason we began to giggle (quietly, of course). Then we heard the delivery guy say, "I'm gonna need to see some I.D." (Uh Oh! We hit a snag.) Then we hear Dave yell, "Hey, Dad, he needs to see an I.D.!" Weed says, "I'm in the shower, my wallet's on the dresser!" Weed was doing an absolutely great job of imitating an older guy, and Sketch and I were bordering on hysterics just then. Then we hear the delivery guy muttering something, and Dave yelling,"Dad! He says he needs to see you!", to which Weed yell's back,"I said I'm in the God Damned shower. Tell him to take the friggin' money and leave the beer out front!"..... Another delivery guy mutter, while Sketch and I are biting our tongues and are ready to explode, and Dave yelling, "Hey Dad! he says he REALLY has to see you!" The death knell to our sanity was when Weed yelled back, "OK! JUST TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS GOD DAMN BEER AND SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS!!!" Well, that did it. Sketch could not control himself any more and started laughing his butt off and rolling on the floor. At the same time, I started pounding on the wall and laughing so hard I almost passed out.

We watched the delivery guy walking back to his truck just shaking his head, and heard Dave and Weed laughing like hyenas. We spent that afternoon rerunning the failed plot over and over, each time getting a bigger kick out of it. I suspect we got more laughs out of what happened than we ever would have, had we actually got the beer. In retrospect, I figure that delivery guy had seen that scheme a thousand times, and had gotten pretty tired of it. It's amazing how creative you think you are when you are seventeen.